How Enlightened Are You? A Test:

How Enlightened Are You? A Test:

Well. . .

If you can live without caffeine or nicotine;

If you can be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains;

If you can resist complaining;

If you can understand when loved ones are too busy to give you any time;

If you can take criticism and blame without resentment;

If you can ignore friends’ limited educations and never correct them;

If you can treat the rich and poor alike;

If you can face the world without lies or deceit;

If you can conquer tension without medical help;

If you can relax without liquor;

If you can sleep without the aid of drugs;

If you can have no prejudice against creed, color, religion, gender, sexual preference, or politics —

— then you have almost reached the same level of spiritual development as your dog.

Anonymous

What Are You Sending Out?

Yesterday was a big day for me! I had been working on clarifying JourneyWay’s 2-Step Course to help adults regain control in their lives when I discovered that my own idea of the destination I’d been working on was still only a dream and not a plan. That didn’t really come as a shock to me as much as the surprise at having been caught in my own habits and distractions. A bit of background information might be in order here…

The destination, or end-goal, I’m working on is to reach that place in my life where I can sell my belongings and buy a small, used sailboat and sail around the world. Completing a full circumnavigation is not as important to me as being a liveaboard cruiser and exploring what I can of this world by way of the sea. I want to experience the opportunity of having what I need with me self-contained and to make my way in this life in an uncommon way. I want closer contact with nature and to learn to live with the weather, seasons, and whatever storms might cross my path. To me that image reflects a simple life and in it lies the picture of freedom that I’ve carried with me for so long. That was the dream.

The wake up call occurred when a friend and faithful reader pointed out something in one of my personal posts. It might have come from, Another Mid-Life Crisis on my personal blog site. (Link opens in a new window.) The friend has known of this dream for some time but while she was reading the thought occurred to her, “Oh my gosh, he’s not going to do it!” That realization struck her pretty deeply. She wasn’t sure if she should tell me but I am grateful for knowing her thoughts. And to be honest she may have been right. It wasn’t a decision that I had consciously made to change my plans. Rather, what I think she picked up was an unconscious conversation I was having with my self that ran along the lines that I was doing it again: Dreaming and not Planning… Wishing and not doing.

What are you sending out?

What is the unspoken dialog you’ve been having for so long with yourself that you don’t really even hear it anymore? What are the words, pictures, and messages you’ve come to believe? For me, I was sending out my doubt about my dream. That doubt has been with me through most of my life and I’ll tell you this, it is tricky!

You see, I don’t doubt my ability to sail a boat or to be comfortable and happy underway, at anchor, or exploring new places. I don’t have any problem with all the things I’ll need to learn to accomplish this dream. New languages, engine repair and maintenance, navigation, storm handling, dealing with corrupt customs officials in countries different than the one I’m so used to. None of those things trip my doubt. I am comfortable with that picture of my dream. (I do need to work on envisioning it much stronger to help bring it closer to reality and I’ll be writing on that later.) For now, I want to talk about my true doubt in hopes that you might be able to relate it to your own unspoken fear, uncertainty, or disbelief.

What I’m sending out is my doubt about doing what it takes to make my dream happen. There is a place inside me where I’m not sure if I can really get out from under my debt or be able to generate enough money for the sailing kitty to bring this wish to fruition. Doing my dream? That’s easy! But doing what I need to do to get there? That’s another topic entirely and that is where JourneyWay’s 2-Step Process comes in. If I walk through these seemingly simple 2 steps with emotional honesty and mental clarity then there is truly nothing that can stop me from letting loose the lines and moving out of the harbor. Nothing. And I believe those 2 steps will work in nearly any endeavor you’re working on too.

Doing the Steps

This week’s quote says it well,

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” ~  Mark Twain

While learning from my friend that I was sending out a different message than the one I thought I was offering, I was reminded of the course I’m working on for this website. JourneyWay’s vision is to help adults regain control in their lives, achieve success, and build self-confidence through web courses and coaching. As I was working on outlining the tasks under Step One I realized that I was stuck and have been for a long time. I was building a great system to teach others and wasn’t using it for myself. To me, my dream was about freedom. I had forgotten that of my coaches reminded me that one way to achieve freedom is through eliminating debt.

That’s when I remembered the book I’d just picked up: Suze Orman’s 2009 Action Plan. What I had been looking for was new financial information for 2009 that would take the changing market into account. Oprah invited Suze Orman onto her show to walk the audience through the Action Plan. During that show, the book was offered free through download from Oprah’s site. It will be available from both Oprah’s and Suze’s sites for a limited period of time. (The Oprah link is here. Click on the book photo for Suze’s link.)

Eliminating debt. Money. That was the one area that I hadn’t put any energy into; the one place in my life I’d systematically ignored. It took a friend who cared enough to mention my doubt and remembering my coach’s point about debt to wake up and see what I really needed to do in order to achieve my destination. And that’s when the click happened. I’m sure you couldn’t have heard it had you been standing next to me, but it came through loud and clear and I not only heard it in my head, I felt it all through my body. The switch had been tripped!

Throwing the Switch

When we finally choose to turn our dream into a plan–when we really choose inside and out–it’s as if a huge circuit breaker is thrown. All the energy from inside us swells and moves us into a new direction that is in alignment with what we most want to achieve. You’ve heard me say it before, if you don’t make different choices today than those you made yesterday then you will end up with a tomorrow that looks just like today. So let’s talk about dreams and plans.

• If you don’t write it down, it’s a dream
• If “doing” the steps that will get you closer to your desired destination aren’t important enough to do, it’s a dream
• If you’re not willing to make the difficult choices to change your life today for the one you most want tomorrow, it’s a dream
• If you can’t clearly describe the steps to get you there, it’s a dream
• If the goals needed to get you there aren’t in your calendar and tied to a timeline, it’s a dream

So, in my case I pulled out the 2009 Action Plan and began walking through the steps listed there. The first was to calculate my credit card debt. I needed to overcome the fear and really look at where I was financially. Knowing my debt did something positive for me even though the news didn’t look good. It gave me a clear picture of the most important mountain I needed to climb in order to achieve my plan: To sail away. Rather than beat myself up about where I was, I could see the steps I needed to take to get to where I most wanted to be.

Making the Plan Important

The switch had been been thrown, the energy was already moving and I began to see what I needed to do. I was feeling as if I was sending a different message out just by changing my focus. I had to answer the question: Is my current lifestyle more important than what I really want to accomplish? The answer was a clear and resounding, “No!”

So what did I do? I’ve begun making a list of all the things I have that I’m not really using that can be sold to reduce my debt. For example, the minute I thought about selling my favored dual-sport motorcycle I knew it would happen; even in this market. A quick email to the owner of Happy Trails in Boise and I learned that he would hold the bike on consignment and that one of their biggest open houses was occurring this weekend. When you truly make the real decision in your life, when the switch is thrown, things begin happening very quickly.

The West Wight Potter trailerable sail boat is going on the block along with whatever else can be scrounged up. While what I’m putting up for sale has meant a lot to me and is tied to good memories, it’s time to let this stuff go. All of it will bring happiness and joy to someone else; someone who has that thing tied to their own dream and plan. While writing this article that list of things I can let go continues to grow. The first step of this process is tied to that all important question: Am I willing to make changes in my life in order to reach what I want more than what I have today?

The 2-Step Process

I’ve written about the process that I’ll be releasing later this month. It is directly related to my belief that Life is a Journey. As such the process involves the 2-steps and included tasks that we each take when we plan a vacation, leave for a business trip, get on a flight, drive down the road, or sail out of the harbor. On the surface it sounds simple, yet underneath resides the power needed to help you truly reach the realistic destination you most dream about. I’ll write more about that process shortly.

What are your dreams? What have you hoped for? Have you quietly and imperceptively given up on those wishes, maybe without even noticing it? What are you sending out?

Don’t give up. Not even to yourself, even in private when you think no one can notice. Be aware of what you’re sending out. Grab your favorite journal or notepad and start making a list. Write down the long range dreams; what have you always hoped to see yourself doing? Include the more immediate topics. Do you need to get out of debt, find a job, mend or create a better relationship, change your education, or switch your environment. What do you most want?

Please feel welcome to leave a comment or make suggestions.

As always, Live your Best,

Zane Darner

Sail Away from the Safe Harbor

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. ~ Mark Twain

What does Tomorrow Hold for You?

“If you want tomorrow to be different than today, then you need to stop doing things the way you did them yesterday. Every choice carries a consequence, however you measure it; negative or positive. What choices are you making today; are they helping you stay where you are or are they powerfully moving you toward the highest vision you have for yourself?” Zane Darner

What does tomorrow hold?

You’d have to be a fortune teller to figure that one out!

Really? I don’t think so. Well, sure, on stuff like the stock market or weather or sports scores, etc. But what about turning the question inward?

“What does tomorrow hold — for you?”

If you keep making the same choices and the same decisions I GUARANTEE that you will end up with the same outcomes. You have the freedom to make any choice you want, however that freedom requires the responsibility and accountability to accept the consequences for your actions.

I’ve made folks angry during workshops when I told them they have the power of choice in their lives. I was heckled about the importance of paying bills, keeping a roof over our heads, being the provider, etc. All that is true. I simply stated a truth: You have the power of choice in your life. Choice is a, well, a choice. It is yours, now. However it is also tied to its own universal law.

Exercising your will in making a choice sets the universe in motion. If you don’t go to work tomorrow, which is really something you CAN do, then you also get to accept the consequence of that choice. You might loose your job. You might find that you never liked that job and that you’d rather buy a small nursery and sell flowers for a living.

Our choices are fluid and flexible… only if we keep exercising them with mental and emotional clarity. If you continue to make choices in your life because that was “the way we did things” in our parents, grand-parents, and great grand-parents time then you are asking for the life they received. And please don’t misunderstand me. I am in no way saying that their life was any worse or any better than ours right now. I am saying though that if you continue to make the same choices today as you made yesterday then your tomorrow is destined to flow before you just as today did.

Do you want change in your life? Then you must have the courage to make changes, to alter the course of your life toward an ideal, a job, a day-to-day situation that more closely resembles the highest dreams you can imagine for yourself.

A great friend once told me to not allow the world to only see my potential. You see, I had created a chronic habit of not choosing. I didn’t take the high road or the low road; I just hunkered down at the fork in the road and stayed there. I always looked longingly at the path leading off toward the top of the mountain just as I gazed over the path that flowed down into the valley. Different paths, different desires and passions, different outcomes. Not choosing became my choice and with it I received exactly what I had chosen: Indecision.

I KNEW what was in my heart, but I had made stories that solidified over the years into an untruth: That I had to wait to begin living my life in the way I truly want my life to unfold. That I had to pay my dues like every other “respectable” member of society, family, church, and relationship circles. In short I didn’t want to hurt others or hurt myself so I sold everyone short.

We all do this to some degree. I had it mastered to such a level that I had become several separate and different people. Not split personalities, but a split person. Now I am deeply entrenched in the work and love involved in extricating myself from the damaging habits of waiting until it will be okay for me to do what I most want to do in my life.

So, what does tomorrow hold?

It rests on the sum result of today’s choices. Eat differently today for a better body tomorrow. Practice self care first, THEN care for others. Yes, I know, that sounds backwards from what we were taught. “Love your neighbors,” and all that jazz. However, the real scripture read, “Love your neighbors as yourself.”

Those last two words, AS YOURSELF, changes everything. Tomorrow holds how you treat yourself mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually today. Tomorrow you will be living the choices of today. I watched my mom die of bladder cancer that had been brought on by a life spent smoking. She had the genealogy to have lived more than the 72 years she visited here. However, she is now in a different place.

Tomorrow holds today’s choices. What are you choosing today? I’m not saying to change anything if you are happy. But let’s chat in a week or so about what being happy really means. This is the time where you get to be selfish and TOTALLY honest with yourself. If you could have anything, do anything, see anything… what would you do? Seriously, get out a pad of paper and begin to list all the things you’d like to do in your life. I wrote on my list that I wanted to see the world as a traveler instead of as a tourist. I wanted to experience different cultures and I wanted to find a way to do it somewhat simply. That was a long time ago. As I started taking an honest look at my life I began to see that what I wanted to do was a wish, barely even a dream. Because I hadn’t invested any time or energy in changing that wish into a goal I’ve stayed in the same place.

One of the quote’s I’ve listed elsewhere on this site ties directly to this:

“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again while expecting different results.” ~ Ben Franklin

The primary focus of JourneyWay.com is to help adults through the process of regaining control in their lives. From the list you’ve begun to create pick one item and spend some time with it. Start asking yourself questions and remember that now is the time to be brutally honest with yourself. This is NOT the time to pick up past the past dialog of beating yourself up. The past has passed; while you can learn from it, you can (and should) leave it in the past. Take that one thing you want to do, accomplish, achieve and write it across the top of another piece of paper. Draw a line down the center of the page creating two columns. In one column begin listing all the reasons (valid and invalid) that you’ve not accomplished your wish. In the other column begin brainstorming steps you will need to take to make this happen for you. List big things and little things. What you’re doing is beginning to create a map that will change your wish into a goal. As you create the steps you’ll need to do remember the SMART acronym. The steps you use to achieve your goal need to have the following characteristics:

• Specific
• Measureable
• Achievable
• Realistic
• Timeline based

Start making choices in that direction and you’ll see the thought in your head now turn in to a dream and then into reality.

For my own dream of seeing more of the world I’m walking through the same process. I will be using that process as an example on this and on another web site to help you see that accomplishing BIG dreams is possible. You’ve just got to decide whether what you want to accomplish is important enough for you to begin making changes in your life. In my case, is traveling the world more important to me than keeping my Direct TV subscription? Is it bigger than wanting a better car than I now have. More importantly, is my dream big enough to get me out of bed an hour earlier to work on it?

In taking this thought to practice in my own life I’ve changed the direction of JourneyWay.com. Those changes will be apparent in the next week or so. Ultimately, I’ve changed the structure of what I had been offering as courses. What had been courses are now going to be offered as ebooks that will be even more affordable (like more than 50% affordable!) There will be courses, but they will now be focused on teaching JourneyWay’s 3-Step Process to regaining control in your life. The ebooks will support the courses. There are a few back-end steps that need to occur before that material is available but we’re in the home stretch! Stay tuned and remember, you can achieve your dreams if your dreams are important enough to make changes for. Start working on your Wish List and begin the deeper work of figuring out why you haven’t been able to begin and what steps you need to start taking.

What does tomorrow hold for you? Everything!

As always, live your best!

Zane Darner
JourneyWay Coaching, LLC