What Are You Sending Out?

Yesterday was a big day for me! I had been working on clarifying JourneyWay’s 2-Step Course to help adults regain control in their lives when I discovered that my own idea of the destination I’d been working on was still only a dream and not a plan. That didn’t really come as a shock to me as much as the surprise at having been caught in my own habits and distractions. A bit of background information might be in order here…

The destination, or end-goal, I’m working on is to reach that place in my life where I can sell my belongings and buy a small, used sailboat and sail around the world. Completing a full circumnavigation is not as important to me as being a liveaboard cruiser and exploring what I can of this world by way of the sea. I want to experience the opportunity of having what I need with me self-contained and to make my way in this life in an uncommon way. I want closer contact with nature and to learn to live with the weather, seasons, and whatever storms might cross my path. To me that image reflects a simple life and in it lies the picture of freedom that I’ve carried with me for so long. That was the dream.

The wake up call occurred when a friend and faithful reader pointed out something in one of my personal posts. It might have come from, Another Mid-Life Crisis on my personal blog site. (Link opens in a new window.) The friend has known of this dream for some time but while she was reading the thought occurred to her, “Oh my gosh, he’s not going to do it!” That realization struck her pretty deeply. She wasn’t sure if she should tell me but I am grateful for knowing her thoughts. And to be honest she may have been right. It wasn’t a decision that I had consciously made to change my plans. Rather, what I think she picked up was an unconscious conversation I was having with my self that ran along the lines that I was doing it again: Dreaming and not Planning… Wishing and not doing.

What are you sending out?

What is the unspoken dialog you’ve been having for so long with yourself that you don’t really even hear it anymore? What are the words, pictures, and messages you’ve come to believe? For me, I was sending out my doubt about my dream. That doubt has been with me through most of my life and I’ll tell you this, it is tricky!

You see, I don’t doubt my ability to sail a boat or to be comfortable and happy underway, at anchor, or exploring new places. I don’t have any problem with all the things I’ll need to learn to accomplish this dream. New languages, engine repair and maintenance, navigation, storm handling, dealing with corrupt customs officials in countries different than the one I’m so used to. None of those things trip my doubt. I am comfortable with that picture of my dream. (I do need to work on envisioning it much stronger to help bring it closer to reality and I’ll be writing on that later.) For now, I want to talk about my true doubt in hopes that you might be able to relate it to your own unspoken fear, uncertainty, or disbelief.

What I’m sending out is my doubt about doing what it takes to make my dream happen. There is a place inside me where I’m not sure if I can really get out from under my debt or be able to generate enough money for the sailing kitty to bring this wish to fruition. Doing my dream? That’s easy! But doing what I need to do to get there? That’s another topic entirely and that is where JourneyWay’s 2-Step Process comes in. If I walk through these seemingly simple 2 steps with emotional honesty and mental clarity then there is truly nothing that can stop me from letting loose the lines and moving out of the harbor. Nothing. And I believe those 2 steps will work in nearly any endeavor you’re working on too.

Doing the Steps

This week’s quote says it well,

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” ~  Mark Twain

While learning from my friend that I was sending out a different message than the one I thought I was offering, I was reminded of the course I’m working on for this website. JourneyWay’s vision is to help adults regain control in their lives, achieve success, and build self-confidence through web courses and coaching. As I was working on outlining the tasks under Step One I realized that I was stuck and have been for a long time. I was building a great system to teach others and wasn’t using it for myself. To me, my dream was about freedom. I had forgotten that of my coaches reminded me that one way to achieve freedom is through eliminating debt.

That’s when I remembered the book I’d just picked up: Suze Orman’s 2009 Action Plan. What I had been looking for was new financial information for 2009 that would take the changing market into account. Oprah invited Suze Orman onto her show to walk the audience through the Action Plan. During that show, the book was offered free through download from Oprah’s site. It will be available from both Oprah’s and Suze’s sites for a limited period of time. (The Oprah link is here. Click on the book photo for Suze’s link.)

Eliminating debt. Money. That was the one area that I hadn’t put any energy into; the one place in my life I’d systematically ignored. It took a friend who cared enough to mention my doubt and remembering my coach’s point about debt to wake up and see what I really needed to do in order to achieve my destination. And that’s when the click happened. I’m sure you couldn’t have heard it had you been standing next to me, but it came through loud and clear and I not only heard it in my head, I felt it all through my body. The switch had been tripped!

Throwing the Switch

When we finally choose to turn our dream into a plan–when we really choose inside and out–it’s as if a huge circuit breaker is thrown. All the energy from inside us swells and moves us into a new direction that is in alignment with what we most want to achieve. You’ve heard me say it before, if you don’t make different choices today than those you made yesterday then you will end up with a tomorrow that looks just like today. So let’s talk about dreams and plans.

• If you don’t write it down, it’s a dream
• If “doing” the steps that will get you closer to your desired destination aren’t important enough to do, it’s a dream
• If you’re not willing to make the difficult choices to change your life today for the one you most want tomorrow, it’s a dream
• If you can’t clearly describe the steps to get you there, it’s a dream
• If the goals needed to get you there aren’t in your calendar and tied to a timeline, it’s a dream

So, in my case I pulled out the 2009 Action Plan and began walking through the steps listed there. The first was to calculate my credit card debt. I needed to overcome the fear and really look at where I was financially. Knowing my debt did something positive for me even though the news didn’t look good. It gave me a clear picture of the most important mountain I needed to climb in order to achieve my plan: To sail away. Rather than beat myself up about where I was, I could see the steps I needed to take to get to where I most wanted to be.

Making the Plan Important

The switch had been been thrown, the energy was already moving and I began to see what I needed to do. I was feeling as if I was sending a different message out just by changing my focus. I had to answer the question: Is my current lifestyle more important than what I really want to accomplish? The answer was a clear and resounding, “No!”

So what did I do? I’ve begun making a list of all the things I have that I’m not really using that can be sold to reduce my debt. For example, the minute I thought about selling my favored dual-sport motorcycle I knew it would happen; even in this market. A quick email to the owner of Happy Trails in Boise and I learned that he would hold the bike on consignment and that one of their biggest open houses was occurring this weekend. When you truly make the real decision in your life, when the switch is thrown, things begin happening very quickly.

The West Wight Potter trailerable sail boat is going on the block along with whatever else can be scrounged up. While what I’m putting up for sale has meant a lot to me and is tied to good memories, it’s time to let this stuff go. All of it will bring happiness and joy to someone else; someone who has that thing tied to their own dream and plan. While writing this article that list of things I can let go continues to grow. The first step of this process is tied to that all important question: Am I willing to make changes in my life in order to reach what I want more than what I have today?

The 2-Step Process

I’ve written about the process that I’ll be releasing later this month. It is directly related to my belief that Life is a Journey. As such the process involves the 2-steps and included tasks that we each take when we plan a vacation, leave for a business trip, get on a flight, drive down the road, or sail out of the harbor. On the surface it sounds simple, yet underneath resides the power needed to help you truly reach the realistic destination you most dream about. I’ll write more about that process shortly.

What are your dreams? What have you hoped for? Have you quietly and imperceptively given up on those wishes, maybe without even noticing it? What are you sending out?

Don’t give up. Not even to yourself, even in private when you think no one can notice. Be aware of what you’re sending out. Grab your favorite journal or notepad and start making a list. Write down the long range dreams; what have you always hoped to see yourself doing? Include the more immediate topics. Do you need to get out of debt, find a job, mend or create a better relationship, change your education, or switch your environment. What do you most want?

Please feel welcome to leave a comment or make suggestions.

As always, Live your Best,

Zane Darner

A Different Way Toward Happiness

JourneyWay.Com was created out of the experience gained through coaching adults over the past 6 years. I learned that most of those I worked with simply wanted a quick, achievable method to find a different way to regain control over their lives and to be happy.

I’m not trying to say that no work is needed to affect change, no way! What I am saying is that it is MUCH easier to get to a new place in your life by first understanding where you are.

Think of your life as a Journey!

You may have a vision for where you want your life to lead or you may not. You might be crystal clear on why you’re not happy or you are simply finding yourself in the same place year after year not really knowing where the time is going. Either way, if you want tomorrow to be different from today you must begin to make changes in the choices you’re making.

“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again while expecting different results.” –Albert Einstein

I’ve always loved that quote because it accurately reflects how most of us are living our lives. It’s been said that success is achieving one’s goals. At the same time, most know that we have to have smart goals in order to keep us true to our values, dreams, visions, and hopes for tomorrow but few of us actually create personal or professional goals and stick to them.

Journeyway.com offers proven, affordable resources to help adults regain control in their lives. We offer our services out of knowing that it is possible to reach incredible dreams. This post is named, “A Different Way Toward Happiness” for a reason. There are many resources, self-help experts, and methods we can use to help us along our own personal journey. At the same time though, many contradict each other leaving us unsure of how to begin, much less continue onto our goals.

We will help you walk through a process of discovery that can lead to lasting change. Part of the work involves building an accountability system to help keep you true to yourself along the way. As in doing anything new, the assessments, free tools, and available courses may seem clunky or confusing at first. That’s okay!

Most of us don’t ever go to the airport and hand over our credit card to the ticket agent and say, “book me a flight going anywhere!” While this can provide adventure in your life, most of us naturally plan and prepare a bit more before booking our flight. We should be doing the same thing when it comes to planning our life journey!

The choices you made in the past and those you continue to make either move you closer to the life you most want to live, keep you rooted in one place, or continue to keep you off-track or even moving further away from your dreams. Sometimes, this has been going on for so long that we’ve begun to believe in our own failure.

We’re here to walk through this part of your journey with you. To do that we’re going to re-introduce you to the Four Rooms of your Life: Mind, Body, Heart, and Spirit. We’re going to ask you to take an honest inventory of all the areas of your life through our Free Intro Assessment, and we’re going to walk through reigniting dreams or goals you’ve put on the back burner, creating a vision for the life you most want to live.

In doing this, we’re going to remember to remain true to our own strengths and weaknesses and we’re going to focus on a vision that we CAN achieve. I will be providing an example of a part of my own life vision and will share through example on what I’m doing to achieve the life I most want to live.

I believe this life is precious and that we’re here for several important reasons. Some of those reasons are for ourselves and the work we’re here to do and some of those reasons are for how we can help and be there for those around us.

Whether you simply want to pick an exercise and eating plan that you can remain true to, want to create a better relationship with yourself and others, or you want to finally reach for that Big Dream, there is possibility for you!

But because this takes commitment we will be talking about how to finally find a way to stay motivated to how you most want to live. Because this will take effort in your life we will support you along the way and show you that positive change is not only possible, it can really happen. But through it all we will remind you of your responsibility and accountability in the process.

This is your life–your journey. Isn’t it worth giving it your all? A great place to start is to peruse the Free Tools section located in the drop down menu at the top of the web site. They will definitely begin to move you toward the all important steps of discovery and self-inventory necessary to begin to change your path. From there we can move to the in-depth web courses available online.

The official launch date for this site will be January 18, 2009. However much will be available before that date and the Free Tools are already up and available for download. Take some time and work your way through the pages and posts, comment if you’re moved to do so, and feel welcome to send me an email if you have any questions, concerns, or suggestions.

This site is for you to help you begin to regain control in your life enabling you to create the life you most want to live.

To your best!

Zane Darner
zane@journeyway.com

What is the JourneyWay?

What is the JourneyWay?

The JourneyWay is your personal experience of traveling through this life.
It encompasses your past, present and future.

For example:

• Everything that you are experiencing today comes from choices you made yesterday.
• Everything you have the capacity to bring into your life will arise out of choices you make today and tomorrow.
• If the path you are on now is not getting you closer to the life you want, then it is up to you to change direction.

Your life reflects your attitude of mind; your attitude of mind does not reflect your life. - Cheri Huber

JourneyWay.com is about supporting your journey. Adults take these courses because they are usually experiencing some pain or major discomfort. We offer online courses that are affordable, self-paced and give you clear insight on how to get from where you are to where you want to be. As coaches, we know how to work with our clients and have learned that breaking down each step makes changing your journey much more manageable.

One way to begin is to take a self inventory; this helps you find out what you may need along the way. Part of that step involves some self-check work to determine if some of what your carrying can be left behind. Our free assessment tool can help get you started. From here, you get to choose which courses you want to focus on first. Each class can be completed individually–but as a whole they will all lead you to the same place–regaining control of your journey and once again discovering the joy that comes from security, confidence and self mastery.

The only requirement of you is that you take responsibility for where you are now, realizing that even if you aren’t where you want to be you can still be fully present and work to make changes.  We can help you regain control of your life, however, it is still up to you to begin.

JourneyWay Exists for You!

Step-by-Step Courses

JourneyWay Coaching began offering affordable self-paced courses earlier this year. The idea was to take 5 years of one-on-one, group, personal and business coaching experience and distill it down into truly manageable material.

The goal is for you to be able to walk through these at your own pace. You can purchase the entire set of 12 or one at a time in any order you prefer for what you’re uniquely working on! You reach your goals by taking well place steps, one at a time. These courses build upon each other in order to help you get from where you are to where you want to be.

The best part is the interactive …

[To be continued]